Awareness, Understanding and Compassion

Don't you just wish people would take the time to learn about Autism? Aren't you tired of the dirty looks received when our children do something others view as odd? Just once I wish people would think before they talk. Like you, we have had heartbreaking occurrences. Those times when you want to sweep your child into your arms, run away and hide them from this cruel world we live in. Or, those times where you bite your tongue so hard you taste blood because you know that if you actually say the things your thinking you are going to be labeled crazy or worse someone may call the cops. I will never forget the day we were at my other daughter's basketball game and my daughter with Autism asked for a basketball. I told my daughter if she wanted to bounce the ball she needed to walk over and get one. Already many neurotypical children had been doing this for some time. At half time she finally got up enough courage to go and get her ball. She stood at the back of the gym and did what other children were doing. She bounced the ball, of course she did it repeatedly. Well, it happened that a man whose child wasn't even playing in the game, who had arrived early for the next game and took a seat next to where my daughter was bouncing her ball said to her "CAN'T YOU STOP DOING THAT???" in a not so nice tone. Okay, I may have responded differently had other kids not been doing the same thing. Or, if he had been sitting there first because his daughter was playing, but he really didn't need to be there at this time. In saying those 5 words, he destroyed months if not years we spent encouraging her to take chances, to put herself out there, to allow her to participate with her peers. She came to me destroyed and confused. What was she doing that was so wrong? The rocking began, the tears and the moaning. I looked him in the eye and told him "She has Autism, she doesn't understand". The day was ruined, not to mention her confidence. All I could hope for was that he could have seen what his ignorance caused, but I doubt it.

Just last night one of my daughter’s best friends played a phone prank on her. She couldn't believe it was her friend (A friend wouldn't do that). Not knowing who it was made things scary for my daughter. When the truth came out and it was the friend, my daughter was sobbing to the point of becoming ill. Again, I reminded the friend of her Autism, that she doesn't understand pranks and that she is hurt because her friend is the one doing this. The heartbreaks are horrendous. (Update: The good news here is that the friend has become aware, and they have worked it out. My daughter is learning about different situations and is lucky to have a friend in her life who is really trying. It is hard enough for adults to understand, let alone another child.)

Please share any stories you feel comfortable sharing. Any advice or suggestions that may have worked for you would be appreciated.